{"id":2515,"date":"2016-08-16T14:32:12","date_gmt":"2016-08-16T13:32:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.urbansocial.com\/blog\/?p=2515"},"modified":"2016-07-28T14:33:05","modified_gmt":"2016-07-28T13:33:05","slug":"how-to-have-a-clean-breakup","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.urbansocial.com\/blog\/how-to-have-a-clean-breakup\/","title":{"rendered":"How to have a clean breakup"},"content":{"rendered":"

When you\u2019ve made your mind up to finish with someone then the hardest part is done. Seriously, there\u2019s nothing harder than that pre-breakup limbo where you\u2019re weighing up the pro\u2019s and con\u2019s and doubting your decision making abilities. <\/span><\/p>\n

But the actual breakup\u2026that\u2019s usually more messy than it is hard. If you\u2019re in a position where you think that being a grown up and just saying it\u2019s over won\u2019t work for you then we have some top tips on how to have a clean break up. <\/span><\/p>\n

Start the pre-breakup.\u00a0 <\/span>Like we said, if you think things are likely to get messy then do the right thing and start off with baby steps to end your relationship. Things like cooling back on staying over, no committing to dates and just not being around that much. It may seem like that\u2019s a cruel move but in reality you\u2019re just weaning him off you and to be honest, there\u2019s really nothing worse than an out of the blue dumping. <\/span><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t be a bitch about it. So you\u2019ve decided he\u2019s not for you, that doesn\u2019t mean you have to go in to mean girl mode and be nasty about it. Chances are he really likes you so at least be respectful of that fact and make it as gentle as possible. There\u2019s really no need to reel off a list of his faults, much nicer to explain you just don\u2019t think you\u2019re suited. <\/span><\/p>\n

Make sure he knows there is no way back. When you decide to do it, do it. Don\u2019t leave him feeling as though there\u2019s a way back. This means no saying you\u2019re taking a break – that\u2019s just prolong things and no sleeping with him because breakup sex, regardless of what you\u2019ve heard, is never a good idea. <\/span><\/p>\n

Do it face to face. Remember that episode of sex and the city where Berger broke up with Carrie on a post-it? Of course you do, it\u2019s because it was a really shitty thing to do. The same goes for dumping people via text, email and facebook. It\u2019s just not on. So don\u2019t be a whip about it, sit down, have the discussion and leave. <\/span><\/p>\n

Expect him to get in touch. Usually the break up conversation, whilst not easy, will be easier than the aftermath. When people go away and think about things, that\u2019s when stuff starts to bubble up. Be mindful of this know that he will get in touch for a post-mortem of the relationship afterwards. If you\u2019re expecting it, you can deal with it. <\/span><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t do the \u201cwe\u2019ll still be friends\u201d thing, unless you mean it. Is there anything worse than being on the other end of a dumping and hearing the words, \u201cbut I want to be friends\u201d. Argh, no, there\u2019s not. Especially when you know the other person has zero intention of actually, being your friend. You don\u2019t want to build hopes up for a start and unless you think you really can be friends with this person, just don\u2019t say anything at all. <\/span><\/p>\n

But if you do want to stay friends. Make sure they\u2019re not your only option and vice versa. If you\u2019re just going out with him like before sans sex then you\u2019re just in a sexless relationship – not split up. <\/span><\/p>\n

Oh and if you are going to stay friendly with him remember, he\u2019s no longer your boyfriend so no snuggling up and no letting him pay for things either. <\/span><\/p>\n

Break ups are never easy, they never have been and they never will be. Very rarely will a breakup be fully consensual so expect a rough ride but remember, you\u2019re a grown up and you\u2019ve got your own mind. Be strong, be clear and don\u2019t let puppy dog eyes or promises that he\u2019ll change sway you. <\/span><\/p>\n

Like this? Why not share it on Facebook<\/a> and Twitter<\/a>. <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When you\u2019ve made your mind up to finish with someone then the hardest part is done. Seriously, there\u2019s nothing harder than that pre-breakup limbo where you\u2019re weighing up the pro\u2019s and con\u2019s and doubting your decision making abilities. But the actual breakup\u2026that\u2019s usually more messy than it is hard. If you\u2019re in a position where […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":2516,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[629,635,69,637],"tags":[657,8,658,54],"class_list":["post-2515","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice","category-dating","category-dating-relationship-advice","category-relationships","tag-breakups","tag-dating","tag-how-to-have-a-clean-breakup","tag-relationships"],"yoast_head":"\r\nHow to have a clean breakup - Urbansocial Dating Blog<\/title>\r\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\r\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.urbansocial.com\/blog\/how-to-have-a-clean-breakup\/\" \/>\r\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\r\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\r\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to have a clean breakup - Urbansocial Dating Blog\" \/>\r\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"When you\u2019ve made your mind up to finish with someone then the hardest part is done. 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