I\u2019m of an age where it would be verging on unusual to meet a man who doesn\u2019t have kids. I don\u2019t have any of my own however so having a partner who does have kids, is something I hoped I would really love. Being of a certain age also means that the kids are usually all grown up and off doing their own thing. But when you reach a certain point in the relationship and want to take things to the next level, meeting your new partner’s grown up kids is the logical next step.<\/p>\n
You don\u2019t have to meet your new partner’s grown up kids all at once, this will happen over time at Birthdays, Christmas etc. Meet them individually, get to know them and not just as \u2018the family\u2019 or \u2018the kids,\u2019 this gives you an opportunity to appreciate their own unique personalities and paves the way for a much stronger rapport. It can be intimidating meeting them all at once, as you\u2019ll be the only person in the room that doesn\u2019t know everyone else \u2013 oh to start a new job again! They\u2019ll be keen to get to know you too and so this, potentially, could turn into a bit of a \u2018polite interrogation\u2019. One guy I was dating had a very outspoken daughter-in-law who organised a dinner with all the family and I was invited along. I said I was working which was true, but I wouldn\u2019t have gone even if I wasn\u2019t working. She was taking control of a situation that needs to flow rather than be forced. Lesson 1.<\/p>\n
So where to go when meeting your new partner’s grown up kids? It\u2019s a bit like a first date, it should always be in neutral territory. If it\u2019s in a caf\u00e9 or a bar, you can\u2019t go wrong, keep it simple. Time box it too, make it a coffee or lunch, but whatever the occasion always have another appointment to go to. If it goes well, you can always arrange to do it again and if it doesn\u2019t well you\u2019ll know to ration the meetings to events where other members of the family will be there (escape route). Remember, you don\u2019t have to like them just because they\u2019re your partner\u2019s children, but always remain civil of course.<\/p>\n
What to talk about when meeting your new partner’s grown up kids? This one is simple, THEM! Yes, they\u2019ll want to get to know you too, but they\u2019ll love you if you keep asking them about themselves. Be subtle with your partner, but find out what they did at school\/college\/uni, where do they work, what sort of things do they like to do in their spare time, are they sporty, do they follow a particular club etc. This should give you plenty to talk about. Also, don\u2019t let your partner go away and leave you for any length of time, they need to recognise this is a team effort and important to everyone involved.
\nHave Your Say<\/p>\n