The \u201clooking for love\u201d part of life is definitely trying, it\u2019s worth it in the end but it\u2019s not always an easy process. And that\u2019s ok because sometimes the best things in life are those that aren\u2019t easy.<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s the thing: you can put yourself out there, state out loud that you’re looking for love, but you don\u2019t know if you\u2019ll find anyone soon, or who that will be. It\u2019s unknowable, and uncontrollable, and uncertain.<\/p>\n
Those are difficult things, and if you have some ideal of a handsome prince or swoon-worthy princess coming along and falling into your lap, you\u2019ll not only be greatly disappointed, you\u2019ll be unprepared for when a good one does come your way.<\/p>\n
So be prepared.<\/p>\n
What does that mean? Here\u2019s what I\u2019d suggest:<\/p>\n
\u2022Get good at uncertainty. There\u2019s no guarantee of love, of anything, and honestly it would be no fun if there were guarantees. Whether you find anyone to date you is unknown, and whether the person you just started dating is the right fit for you is also unknown. So prepare by becoming good with uncertainty, by practicing it a lot. Do things that have uncertain outcomes, like starting a business or traveling cheaply with no set plans or making it a goal to talk to strangers every day. You\u2019ll get much better at it with constant practice.<\/p>\n
\u2022Let go of your ideals. You probably have some ideal of who you\u2019re looking for \u2014 I know people who have made a \u201cman board\u201d with all of their ideal characteristics, or an \u201cideal woman\u201d list with a laundry list of how she\u2019ll look and what she\u2019ll be good at. Good luck with that. You\u2019re just making it harder on yourself if you need to find the perfect person who not only meets all these ideals, but has the right chemistry and likes you. Instead, practice letting go of your ideals and being open to what emerges. Be curious instead of certain.<\/p>\n
\u2022Become emotionally self-sufficient. Instead of hoping that some other person will come along and meet all of your emotional needs, learn to take care of them yourself. You need nothing than what you already have, sitting right where you are now.<\/p>\n
\u2022Do interesting things. Explore the world. Start something cool. Go on adventures. Learn new skills and languages. Build stuff. Write things. Do things that are different than most. Challenge yourself. Scare yourself. Not only will you become a more interesting person, you\u2019ll have fun, become better at self-sufficiency and uncertainty, and have a few good stories to tell your future mate.<\/p>\n
\u2022Get your health & finances in order. Who wants to date a loser? Not you, and not your future spouse. So start exercising, and get fit. Start saving and investing and eliminate your debt. Be awesome.<\/p>\n
If you do most of the things on this list (you don\u2019t have to do everything), you\u2019ll be pretty prepared for when love knocks you over and flattens you.<\/p>\n