5 Rules To Stick To When Dating In Your 30s
Dating in your 30’s comes with different challenges to any other dating decade in your life. You’re social circle might be dwindling, you’ve got fewer single friends to go out with, you’ve got past experiences nagging at you, and you’re watching the clock ticking. Knowing how to make a real go of it might feel like an uphill battle. But it doesn’t have to be. On the plus side, you’ve probably got a much better idea of who you are, who you’re looking for, and who to avoid. If you’re finding yourself back in the dating game again, here’s our top 5 rules to stick to when dating in your 30s.
1. Don’t Panic and Settle
No matter how panicked you might be that you’re still single in your 30s, settling is not the way to go. Don’t fall into the trap of finding the first person, it needs to be the right person. It can be easy to worry that time is slipping by and the clock is ticking. That should be a solid enough reason to not waste time on settling for a relationship that is unlikely to last.
Being single in your 30s should mean you have a much better idea of what you are looking for in a partner. Make sure you know what things are important to you. This doesn’t mean writing a long tick box list for your ideal partner to fit into. It means having a clear idea of what you’re looking for, what you are prepared to compromise on, and what are the 100% deal breakers. Are you happy to date a single parent, someone who has been divorced, someone who doesn’t live permanently in this country? If you find yourself dating a person that hits your deal breakers, have the confidence to cut your losses and move on.
2. Shift Out Of Your Comfort Zone
It can be easy to fall into a routine in your 30s, with work, friendships, your eating habits and exercise schedule. Many of us naturally gravitate to our comfort zones as we get older. This is partly the reason why singles over 30 find it harder to meet new people. It’s important to keep challenging yourself as we get older, and keep new opportunities coming our way in all areas of our life.
Just as you might choose to overhaul your menu plan for the week, or change up your exercise plan, you should do the same with your dating efforts. Join a dating site for singles over 30, head along to a local dating event for over 30s, try hanging out in a new bar, or go to a social event you’d previously have declined an invite to. Shifting yourself out of your comfort zone is key to making new opportunities for yourself.
3. Set Your Expectations
Whether it’s your hopes and dreams of who your ideal partner is, how many scorecard matches you’ll get from a speed dating event or how well your first date will go, it’s important to set realistic expectations. Dating at any age takes some navigating, with plenty of curveballs, unexpected and inexplicable situations cropping up.
Don’t be tempted to get carried away with your expectations or dreams when you’re dating in your 30s. It’s important to be able to bounce back from any disappointments and knocks. Adopting a positive mindset that enables you to not lose faith and give up on dating is important.
4. Forget The Games
We’ve all been there at some point in our dating lives. Did what we thought were the best tactics to keep someone interested by acting cool, not looking too keen, playing the various dating games we all think can make all the difference. While these might have fun to experiment with in our teens or our early twenties, they hold no place with older singles. In fact anyone playing games when dating in your 30s or 40s should signal alarm bells instantly.
Dating in your 30s and beyond only succeeds when adults behave like grown-ups. There is no place for game playing at this age. If you want to call or text someone, do it. If they like you, they will be just as responsive. If you’re worried that you’ll scare them away, it’s probably not going to go anywhere anyway.
5. Don’t Make Dating An Ordeal
It’s true that dating takes a certain amount of resilience. Knock backs and rejection hurts any single at any age. It can be easy to become so fearful of these outcomes, that it taints our approach to dating, which in itself can lead the outcome we most fear. Whatever your dating history, and whatever your age, dating should be something we approach with a positive attitude. Cynicism that whoever you might will ghost you, be hiding another relationship, or be in it for something else will never allow you the freedom to see potential dates for what they really are.
If you’ve become overwhelmed with online dating in your 30s, take a break, try a different dating site, read through dating advice when dating online. Or try something else. Go to a dating event, find ways to meet new people that you don’t view as an ordeal. At the end of the day it doesn’t really matter how you date, as long as you do. So go with whatever you feel most confident doing, and keep an open positive mind.