5 ways to handle unexpected surprises about your date

March 3, 2015 BY Rachael Phillips | Advice


We’ve all been there. Happily going about our business, enjoying a string of dates and thinking that maybe, just maybe, we’ve met Mr Right.

And then boom.

He drops a bombshell; whether he’s been lying about his job, his age or he’s shared that he was previously engaged and broke it off as they were about to walk up the aisle. Whatever it is, everyone has baggage and at some point we have to prepare ourselves for the baggage bomb to be dropped.

So if you find yourself in a situation where you’re faced with unexpected surprise about your date then here are 5 ways to handle it…

Don’t be emotional. If your date has just told you something that shocks you then likelihood is that he’s had to build himself up to do it. Don’t pull a face or let out a gasp, keep calm and just processed what you’ve been told. You don’t want to make your date feel uncomfortable and it’s a good way of getting to know him more.

Don’t follow up with a bomb of your own. Just because he’s let you in to a bit of his world, there’s no reason why you should feel obliged to follow up with a baggage bomb too. Only tell him what you feel comfortable him knowing.

Be comforting (if applicable). So if he’s just confessed to something big. Maybe he’s told you that his father has just passed away or that he has a problem of some kind, don’t avoid the situation. Instead try to be as comforting as possible, you don’t have to ask a load of questions or force him to talk about things just let him know that you’re there for him.

And when something big has been let out of the bag, don’t act like you’re uncomfortable. We know how it is, when you hear something that you didn’t really want to hear then it’s natural to feel uncomfortable and to express that in your body language. So instead try not to look all around the room, or fiddle with your phone. Instead, keep eye contact, listen and realise with what he’s just told you that it’s probably better you know sooner than later.

Stay on topic. It’s really important not to change the topic just because you’ve heard something that you didn’t want too or that you weren’t ready for. Instead let him decide when he’s done talking about it before moving on.

How do you deal with baggage bombs? Share your tips on @UrbanSocialCom