First Impressions IRL: How to Be A-OK When You’re AFK
Right guys. You’ve followed our advice here, and you’ve landed yourself a date. Good job!
Now it’s time to go AFK (away from the keyboard) and meet your lady IRL (in real life). We know that stepping away from the asynchronous communication of online messaging can make some people feel a little bit vulnerable.
After all, there’s no option to spend 30 minutes redrafting a message before hitting send when you’re sitting face to face.
So, beyond shining your shoes, combing your hair, and making sure you smell nice, what else can you do to make a positive first impression on a first date?
Here are a few tips to help you make a lasting impression in person:
Let’s start with a pretty obvious one; something you’ve no doubt been told or read on countless occasions – be confident. We get it, it’s not easy to just “be confident”. Not everyone is born James Dean. Becoming confident takes time and it takes work, but it is important.
No-one likes feeling nervous, and you can be sure that your date doesn’t want to make you feel nervous. First dates can often be a bit awkward and tense, so adding a bit of confidence to the mix can help alleviate those feelings for both of you.
Our best advice? Fake it ’til you make it (and smile!).
Dating is all about communicating, and if you don’t have much to say then it’s going to be tough to determine whether or not there’s a connection with a woman.
You need to think about a date as a radio talk show. You don’t want any dead air. You have to both contribute to the conversation, and the best way of doing that is to bring something to the table. Whatever your hobbies or pastimes are, speak passionately and enthusiastically about them to help her get to know you better.
Just keep things light and be sure to steer clear of too much work chat – that’ll get boring, and fast!
This leads nicely to…
Just like a talk show, there needs to be some balance in the conversation. Try to ensure that one of you isn’t dominating proceedings. You’ll either come off as timid (or not interested) if you’re not talking enough, or domineering and possibly rude if you’re talking too much.
You need to be present in the moment, able to listen without interruption, and add value to the discussion. Becoming a better listener and asking better questions takes time and practice, but it’s a skill worth developing, and one that won’t go unnoticed.
First impressions don’t end the moment you meet. Life is a collection of little firsts, and the best way of making a lasting impression on someone is to let them know you’re interested (if you are indeed interested).
This might mean asking for a second date at the end of the evening, or simply following up with a text or phone call to let them know you had a great time, and would be interested in doing it again.
This will go a long way towards removing uncertainty at the end of the first date, and lets both of you know where you stand.