4 reasons older women fail online dating (and how to fix it)

April 4, 2016 BY Rachael Phillips | Advice


Online dating is great for people of all ages. Whether you’re 20 or 70 you’re bound to find someone out there to connect with. However, older women can sometimes struggle in this arena, the Daily Mail refers to women 50+ as the ‘Plankton generation’ – i.e. the bottom of the romantic food chain. 

But we’ve discovered that the reason that older women fail at online dating can be put in to four distinct categories…

It’s all about mindset. Older women will often think that there are no good men left to date, they don’t put it down to being a universal problem, often it’ll be there are no good men left in the area or the age group. But, as with anything, if you go around believe it, then you’ll have less of a chance to see them. It’s important that as an older woman you allow yourself to see what’s around you, not just what you think the situation is. Try to be open to meeting new people and to giving people a chance.

You’re accustomed to certain lifestyle. If you want to start dating and strike up a romance then you have to make room in your life for that person. When you’re 40+ you’re already used to a certain lifestyle and whilst you shouldn’t have to change that for anyone, you do need to open up and start being more responsive.

You’re waiting for him to make the first move. Forget the old rules of dating, this is 2016 and you’re dating online, you no longer have to wait for him to make the first move. Many older women feel uneasy or shy about suggesting that first contact or first meet but it’s time to take control and go after what your heart desires.

Algorithms. Yep, that’s right, sometimes, just sometimes the computer can be to blame for you not finding your Mr Right. We know how it is, you sign up for a site and sit back waiting for the messages to flood in but they don’t. You worry that it’s about you and that no one finds you attractive or interesting. Well stop right there. All it actually means is that you need to start being a little more proactive.

You need to start enhancing the experience and showing the computer what kind of men YOU find interesting and attractive. So start by vowing to login at least once a day, this will boost you up in the rankings and show you as being online etc. Next you need to start sending out message to met you’d like to get to know better, it could be the reason that you’ve not been contacted by them is that you simply weren’t coming up in their search.  And lastly switch your profile at least once a month, men are visual and if they don’t click on your profile, it could be as simple as that image didn’t attract them (note the image – not you!).

Don’t let being an older woman put you off the joys of online dating, with a bit of confidence and technical knowhow you can be on the path to meeting great men. Do you have any tips? Share them with us on twitter @UrbanSocialCom