8 Things Guys Wish Girls Did on a First Date
We’ve all been on good dates. We know what they look like, we recognise their qualities.
And we’ve all been on those absolute horror show dates; ones where we can’t wait to get home, bolt the door shut, and change our phone numbers.
But what about the dates in the middle? The ones that tread the line between being really good and really “meh”?
While on the surface things might seem perfectly nice, the truth is there’s a bunch of things us guys would like from you ladies on the first date (no, not that – get your mind out the gutter).
Keep these in mind and you’re on for a second date:
1. We’d Like Your Attention, Please
It took a lot of nerve for us to pluck up the courage and ask you on this date. And while we don’t expect you to sit there the entire night fluttering your eyelashes and fawning over our dashing good looks, we’d at least like you to be present in the moment.
Please don’t try to escape into your phone or act all aloof. Focus on the date, and on us, and we’ll do the same.
We know you don’t owe us a second date, but if we’re doing our best, let’s at least make it a pleasant first one.
2. We’d Like You to Keep an Open Mind
A first date should only really be about getting to know each other. Is there a spark? Are there any shared interests? Do we have a similar sense of humour? Do we get on?
It shouldn’t be about trying to ‘wow’ someone by splashing the cash.
That’s why we’d really like it if you keep an open mind when it comes to our date night suggestions. More often than not, we’re looking for somewhere a little quiet and cosy so that we can chat the night away.
Chances are, that’s not going to be a restaurant with more than one type of fork.
3. We’d Like to Play it Cool
So please don’t try to act cool.
We’re already doing our best to keep our own awkwardness and eccentricities in check, and the last thing we need to contend with is someone trying way too hard.
Keep the name dropping and boasting to a minimum. We’re already here, with you, on the date. You really don’t have to try and impress us more.
And further to this point…
4. We’d Like to Meet the Real You
Sure, we’re both going to turn up trying to look good. Compatibility is as much about attraction as it is about personality.
But we’d like to get to know the real you. So please don’t think you have to wear some slinky, low-cut dress and slather on layer upon layer of make up.
We’ll just spend the rest of the night wondering what you look like day-to-day, and how long it takes you to get ready!
Give us a chance to be attracted to you, not the ‘first date version’ of you that you think we want to meet.
5. We’d Like an Offer to Split the Bill
Listen, chances are we’re going to pay for dinner. It’s what a gentleman does, right? But the presumption that we’re going to reach for our wallet doesn’t go unnoticed.
When the bill comes, simply offer to pay for your half of the meal. That gives us the chance to be the chivalrous young man we were raised to be and reject your kind offer.
And hey, if you want to leave a tip, or better yet, keep the date going with a few drinks on you at another bar, well that’s fine by us!
6. We’d Like to Be Thanked – Literally
This might seem a little whiny and attention-seeking, but when we’re doing our best to be polite and well-mannered, we’d really like to be acknowledged for it.
If we take your coat, or pull out your chair, or hold the door, or hail you a cab, we’re not just angling for a goodnight snog (though we won’t say no); we’re simply putting into practice all those things our parents taught us when we were kids.
A little affirmation via a well-placed ‘thank you’ will make us feel like we’re doing our folks proud.
7. We’d Like a Clear Signal
You’re busy. We’re busy. Neither of us have time for games.
That’s why throughout the evening, and especially at the end of the night, we’d like a clear signal (or two, or three, or four) to suggest that you’d like to go out again.
Now, you don’t need to start flirting like crazy or make any suggestive remarks; a simple bit of contact (a touch on the arm, for example) and a smile usually does the trick.
And for those of you who think you need to play hard-to-get to keep a guy interested, we’ve some news for you: you don’t.
If you’d like to go out again, let us know.
8. We’d Like to Avoid Drama
We get it – drama is exciting. There’s always something to talk about, or some crazy incident to pick apart in the aftermath. But we’d prefer to keep the drama where it belongs – on TV and in movies.
We’d much rather you didn’t kick off the date by listing your exes, or dishing the dirt on your most complicated relationships.
A good relationship simply cannot be built around a revolving door of minor crises. So try to leave your worries at home for the evening and focus on having some fun instead.
Guys, do you have any to add to the list? Girls, are you guilty of overlooking any of these?