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Advice for Online Dating

Advice for Online Dating

Most online dating sites work by letting daters contact each other through a messaging service on the site. With all initial contact being done through the dating site and in the form of messages, its a good idea to try and remember a few simple pointers about the world of online dating.

Here are handy hints that may help to get the most out of your internet dating experience.

Messaging Other Singles Online

So, you've spotted a singleton that you want to contact online. But what do you say? It's important to try and make the right impression when first making contact online, as you may only get once chance to get it right!

  • Be Clear - Words and phrases can be interpreted in many different ways, so when drafting your message try and be as clear as you can to avoid any misintrepretation.
  • Be Concise - Don't attempt to write a long winded message that needs its own chapters, a few well written sentences is enough to make an initial introduction.
  • Ask Questions - A couple of questions before signing off gives the recipient more of an incentive to respond to you, and also gives them something to talk to you about in their response.
  • Keep Momentum - Once initial contact has been made, its vital to keep momentum going, keep asking questions and find out things you have in common to keep conversation flowing.
  • Be Friendly and Polite - Cracking bad jokes, excessive swearing, or voicing strong and possibly controversial opinions may not get you off onto the right foot.
  • Be Positive - There is nothing worse than a singleton droning on about negative experiences, be it in relationships or other aspects of their life. You may risk sounding negative, depressive, or negative which isn't appealing.

Check Your Inbox Frequently

There's not much point joining an internet dating site if you're not going to be active online with other daters. That means logging into the site regularly and checking your inbox for new messages.

If you don't get into the habit of checking your inbox frequently, when you do log back in, you may have lots of messages to read through from other daters. It's then quite likely that you'll rattle out responses without necessarily giving your message much thought or attention. You could end up not doing yourself justice by not making the right impression and seeming disinterested, rushed or even boring! Remember to use the tips above when thinking about your messages.

Some sites have an alert facility which will automatically contact you at your personal email address to tell you when you have a new message waiting to be read on the site. This can be useful as it prompts you when to log into the site.

The dating site may also alert you when messages you have sent have been read. This is a good way to be kept informed and updated on your communications through the site, so it might be a good idea to see which online dating sites offer this facility before joining.

Another advantage to logging in frequently to some dating sites is that their search results of daters is ordered by those who have logged in most recently. So the more often you log in, the more likely you are to appear at the top of the search results, and be much more visible to other daters!

Don't Be Shy - Make the First Move

The golden rule to internet dating is don't wait for singletons to get in touch with you! You can't sit around expecting other daters to make the first move! Get out there and start messaging singletons yourself. Mass messaging everyone may not necessarily be the way forward, but there is a definite pot luck and numbers game element to online dating.

If you find you're not getting many messages, have another look at your profile and follow the tips outlined, think about your messages, but most importantly don't get despondent. There's a variety of reasons why you may not be getting the results you expect. It may be that the dating site you've joined doesn't have many members in your area, or the sort of people you really want to meet, or they may even have very old profiles of members that aren't really using the site anymore. Some daters may have a profile online but may be currently dating or away etc. You have to remember all these aspects play a role in the online dating process and success rate, so whatever you do don't take it personally.

Always Respond to Messages

It's likely that at some point in your online dating experience, you'll receive a message from another dater who may not be your cup of tea for whatever reason. It's very important to remember your manners when communicating online with other daters. Simply ignoring a daters efforts to communicate with you should not be the attitude. It's very easy to get disheartened when daters don't return others efforts to communicate.

The simple rule should be to send a response that expresses you're not interested. It doesn't need to give reasons or be lengthy, just something like:

Hi, thanks for your message. I have read your profile and I don't feel we're compatible. Thanks again for contacting me and best of luck in your search.

Most daters will take the hint from this email. If however, you feel that another dater is pestering you, most online dating sites provide a blocking facility, which allows you to block another dater from seeing you online and contacting you. Some good internet dating sites will also provide a reporting facility, which can be used if you feel that another dater is being out of order or offensive in any way. On good internet dating sites, cases like these are few and far between.

For more information, have a read of these articles:
Tips for Getting Started Online Dating
Internet Dating - Getting Your Profile Right