What NOT to Say On A First Date
First dates. We’ve all been there, whether it’s a blind date, set-up-by-your-friends date or a first date you’ve lined up from your own online dating efforts. A first date can be stressful enough without wishing you hadn’t opened your big mouth and said something that went down like a lead balloon. The art of knowing what not to say on a first date however, can be easier than you think.
Sometimes a first date can feel like a job interview. The introduction, some nervous laughter, some pauses in conversation and thinking about the best way to say things to make that good impression. There’s always a possibility you’ll say a couple of things you really wish you hadn’t. But knowing what not to say on a first date, just like a job interview is a great first step to having a good experience.
Scottish comedian Nicki Bell gives us her opinion on what not to say on a first date. Watch her lighthearted 30 second blog about what not to say on a first date. See if you agree!
What Not to Say On A First Date Topics
Giving off the best impression of yourself is the aim of the game on your first date. Here’s our top tips on the areas of conversation that you should avoid at all costs.
As Nicki says: “Don’t talk about your ex! Your date doesn’t want to hear it.” It’s true that one of the biggest turn offs on a first date is hearing someone talk about the last date or their past relationships. Leave the ex chat well alone on your first date, and focus on what’s in front of you.
While it can be interesting to know what your date does for a living, keep it simple. At this stage your first date doesn’t want to know the exact details of your job role, how long you’ve been working your way up the ladder or how technical your job is. By all means make it sound interesting, but don’t go on and on.
Marriage and the Future
First dates are about finding out about each other. So talking about how you’d like to get married one day, have kids and live in the countryside is probably fine. But the key is to stay vague about these things on your first date. What not to say on a first date would be that you’ve found the ideal wedding venue, and know the names of your three kids and dog. Your date is likely to run a mile!
Work or Home Drama
Save talking about the dramas in your life be they at home or at work on your first date. Problems or gossip aren’t going to interest your date, and are likely to add negative vibes into the date. It’s a topic of conversation that can be left for a few more dates down the line, when you’re more in the comfort zone with each other.
The Collective ‘We’
While it’s sometimes a boost to think your date thinks highly enough of you already to be talking about the future, the ‘we’ statements if used too much, can actually be a turn off. Too much suggestive talk about the collective ‘we’ – we should go on holiday, we should get a dog – is grounds for making your date feel uncomfortable if they’re still making up their mind about you. If you want to stand a good chance of getting to date number two, the collective ‘we’ is definitely a top example of what not to say on a first date.
A first date isn’t the arena to start talking about sex. Everyone knows that if all goes well, at some point, it’s likely to feature, but for many first daters, talking about sex too early on is just a put-off and can give off the wrong impression. Hold off and save the sex chat and what you’re into for later on!
Remember your first date is all about putting across the best version of you. Have fun, be confident, engaging, interested, and happy, be you, enjoy and leave the above topics of conversation